Soothing touch techniques. One is called "Havening."
The basic idea is to put your hands on opposite shoulders, and then rub down the backs of your arms to your elbows. Then lift the hands and replace them on your opposite shoulders, and rub down to the elbows again. Repeat over and over.
While doing this, you can repeat a mantra in your mind that you want to believe. “I am safe. I am powerful. I am infinite.” Anything that you want to believe. There are more complex techniques that work even better, but this is a really good start and super easy to do.
Why do I get irritated so easily? When I do, I feel like I'm losing it. I started hitting things, yelling, and wanting to be alone.
You most likely have physical discomfort in your body (likely in your stomach, back, or chest).
Start to notice your physical sensations when you're irritated. Once you've figured them out, then you have a more direct line to the issue.
Use exercise, soothing self touch techniques (like Havening), or a hot shower, something to relax and create healthy positive sensations in your body.
One thing to further consider is the difficulty of putting our attention on uncomfortable physical sensations.
It’s literally the least enjoyable thing to pay attention to. It’s literally viscerally upsetting.
There’s a kind of finality about it, a terror of mortality.
That's because discomfort in the torso does reduce our life energy. It deadens us a little.
And of course, for some reason, our brains hide from us the fact that these things are connected. It’s somehow not built into our awareness that internally generated physical sensations are the vehicles of emotion flow.
But if you change the visceral sensations in your torso, you change the emotions behind your eyes.
Dave Wolovsky, MS CAPP
Relationships Coach, answering the internet's questions about all kinds of relationships.